What a difference a year makes

True to form, as one year ends and another begins I want to reflect. It happens this time every year because I also have a birthday in December and as I literally get a year older as the year ends, I can't help but want to stop and think about all that has happened. So here it goes...

Last year on New Year's Eve, I was in Atlanta with my good friend Sarah Brookings, who lives there. We decided to go to a nice dinner downtown to ring in the new year and then watched Lord of the Rings on New Years Day in our PJs. It was a quiet and sweet way to start a new year. Then I went to Passion 2013 and things got much louder.

It was there that I started a new journal. I have journaled throughout my years as a adolescent and into adulthood, but as I've gotten older I've lost the consistent habit. But since I was attending a conference full of teaching, I thought it might be good to bring something along. I love the idea of journaling so, I of course, had a blank one at home I could bring along.

I highly recommend journaling, especially when it's cute like this one.

The first thing I wrote in this new Bible was part of a prayer from Louie Giglio who kicked off the conference and it was the most profound thing that impacted me from the entire Passion 2013.

"Lord do immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine. Give me eyes to see the immeasurably more."

Immeasurably more is how I'll try to remember 2013. My 29th year of life. It was a great year. One full of new experiences, personal growth, challenges, inspiration, calling, affirmation, and depth. Those are such great words!

The first couple months were good growth while I completed a devotion called Fall for Him about singleness. I treasured the lessons learned and the prayers I prayed during those 25 challenges. I commend it to any of my single girlfriends as it was written by a woman who didn't marry until she was in her 30s so her stories resounded with truth and much empathy.

I also had several meaningful new experiences:

• I attended the Justice Conference and toured Philadelphia in February.
• I had a fun-filled girls weekend in Asheville in March. We spent the afternoon at a natural hot spring.
• I got to visit Ohio several times to see my nephew grow in his first year. 
• I went to a retreat center alone and sang out loud in the woods in June. 
• I attended a work conference in Boston in July and created an epic road trip through Colorado in July.
• I had another girls weekend in Asheville in October and went to Grove Park Inn for the first time.

The last part of 2013 and my 29th year was full of fruit and faithfulness.

• I met my boyfriend Daniel in August and have fallen in love. 
• I successfully ran a conference as President Elect of my state career counselor's association. 
• I was invited to be an elder in my church with a community I love serving. 
• I got a promotion in my job in December with a boss who seeks to develop me well. 

So now I'm able to implement so many of the heart lessons I've learned about "the me I want to be" (in the words of John Ortberg) in leadership, justice, relationships, and love. I used to always refer to the year I turned 23 as the best year of my life because I was working with Campus Crusade, traveling and feeling affirmed in what God called me to do, but I think 2013 has taken it's place as the best year...so far...

I can't wait to see what God has in store for 2014!

A Year with my Motto

So about a year ago I attended a seminar called Finding your Passion and Purpose at UNCG. One of the activities we completed was to create a motto for our lives. We spend 2 days doing self-reflection activities to help us discover our purpose. So this was the culmination of the 2 days. Our guidelines were to choose words that have meaning to us and for it to only be 7 words. Apparently there is some evidence to prove that 7 words is easy for us to remember. The result of that task was my motto which now appears in my signature line for any personal emails I send, and is referenced often. I thought it would be fun to look back over this past year of having this motto to see how it has been worked out in real life. So here ya go: 

  Live Intentionally. 

                                      Be For Others.

                                                                      Cultivate Peace. 

Live Intentionally: 

• I created a 30 before 30 list. and have been intentional about creating space in my life to do the things on the list (not always succeeding, because sometimes its easier to watch TV than to read a book a month...)
• This year I've heard several friends remark on my being intentional with them - seeking out time to spend with them or doing something specifically for them (again I am not sure I always succeed in this area, but that's what "they" say)
• I've paid more attention to how I am intentional. I really do have reasons for almost all the things I do. This year I've had some tough conversations with people who have questioned my intentions and I've had to evaluate them. This hasn't been fun, but actually very important. 
• I have noticed this year, since having a motto, that I do in fact live my life with intention in a way that some others don't. This can make my life more exciting sometimes, and more boring other times. But I noticed it most when I meet new people and they comment on something I do or say in a way that reminds me - oh yea, it's because I'm intentional...Ashley Porter knows what I'm talking about in this regard. :) 

Be for Others:

• I went to Greece to be a counselor for missionaries. So while Greece was awesome and traveling is one of the great joys in my life - I went to serve. I wanted to use my skills and education in counseling for the benefit of the body of Christ, and what better way than with those whose job titles are the body of Christ in motion. 
• I responded to a basic need for water by raising $1400 for Rwanda and a new project that gives clean water access to people living in Rulindo. This is exciting because as the project is completed we will get to receive updates on how the money was spent. I was able to get my network of friends and fellow advocates to be for others that we will most likely never get to meet. But we have changed their lives forever. 
• I am trying to simplify my life by getting rid of the superfluous stuff in my house. I've been to Goodwill more this year than any other. I have tried to find good ways of getting rid of stuff, and even paying more attention to what gets recycled and what doesn't.  So I hope I am able to be for others who buy the things I take to Goodwill.

Cultivate Peace:

• This year I think I've had the most trouble seeing this one in my life. Probably because cultivation can take a long time. I may be planting seeds of peace in small ways and won't know about them for a long time. I did put a cool bumper sticker on my car in hopes of helping - it says "Love > Fear" and goes wherever my car goes. So that's something lol.
• I hope I am able to cultivate peace through my work with the high school ministry at my church. I love those students and seek to show them God's love and grace in this world. I find a lot of my time is spent encouraging and reminding them that God's got this, hopefully in turn bringing about some of that "peace beyond understanding" that only God can provide. 

 So I'm very thankful for my motto. I am grateful to God for making me someone who loves language and finding words that resonate with my soul and provide a "soul check" on how I'm living. I like having a motto that makes me question -  Is what I'm doing in a way that fits with how God made me and living into my motto - or do I need to realign myself with who I really am and who I want to be.

If you're still reading to the end of this self-reflection - thanks and enjoy this nostalgic take on the importance of a motto.

Embracing the silence

Silence is uncomfortable for most people. It used to be really uncomfortable for me, but counseling school change that some. However, while I am happy to use silence in groups and when it's helping others, I don't find myself giving into the silence when it's just me and my soul. Recently I was told a great metaphor as someone described silence as "creating margins" in your life. I edit a LOT of resumes so the margins idea resonated with me.

Margins in a book give the book space. If you're like me, sometimes you have a revelation and want to write it in your book or underline with arrows to the thought you had while reading. The margins become important parts of my memory of that book. It's like the opposite of "edge to edge toppings" on a pizza. Americans live like Donatos Pizza (which is delicious, and off limits to me until Easter).

We fill all the spaces in our lives with toppings - ipods, cell phones, superficial conversations about the weather, coping mechanisms, movies, and TV (or in my case, Hulu). Parker Palmer puts it well: “I had simply found a “noble” way to live a life that was not my own, a life spent imitating heroes instead of listening to my heart.”

I want more margins in my life to listen more to my heart, life and the Holy Spirit God has given me. I want to trust the silence and see what happens.

In the theme of silence, I was stopped by the lyrics of this song recently and will leave you with it today.

I'm turning the world off

Embracing the silence

Walking away from all the voices

That are screaming in my ear

I've been too caught up

I've been so stresses out

And all of the noise replaced the whisper

That used to be so clear

Timelines

The new timeline feature on FB is not my favorite thing, but it looked like this is the future of FB and I'm not one of those people who chose to give it up for Lent, so I went ahead and converted.

As I was figuring out the nuances of the new look and feel, I thought "what a strange way to reflect on my life." Seeing what I posted to FB in 2007 vs. 2011 and noticing things like how many friends I added was weird. Status updates from last year and my "likes" filled the screen. I say it's strange because we choose what we put on Facebook, it's not actually us. You, as my FB friend, aren't able to see how a situation actually was, only to hear my take on it.

The timeline even told me how many people wished me happy birthday in 2009 and every other year. What am I supposed to do with that information? I deleted it, but could have started adding meaning (remember the name of this blog) and comparing my life to the # of well-wishes I received.

The photos that FB has held onto over the years also cause me to stop and reflect - how accurately do these photos represent the way I'm actually living my life? This of course sent me on a bunny trail of thoughts including a scene from Just Married. 

The scene that popped in my head was toward the end when Ashton Kutcher's character goes to his father for advice. His father provides this wisdom:

"Somedays your mother and I loved each other. Other days we had to work at it. You never see the hard days in the photo albums, but those are the days that get you from one happy snapshot to the next."

Our stories include non-photo worthy moments that challenge, teach, frustrate and provide movement to moments where saying "Cheese" is a pleasure :) I'm also reminded of the Biblical metaphor of being in a valley or on a mountaintop. I was reminded of how important valleys are recently - they are where the sheep are nourished and gain strength to climb the mountain. Not much actual work is done on the mountaintop. The view is important, but I'm in a valley now and I say - bring it on! I'm ready to work.

Slow Down, but Don't Give Up

 I want to make a difference.

I am a privileged White American, rich by most world standards.
As a Christian I want to advocate for justice worldwide because all people matter to God.

Recently I was stopped in these thoughts by 2 items.
1. The creator of TOMS wrote a book. I ran across this video while adding his book to my Pintrest page. I will read this book before I'm 30 as part of my "30 before I'm 30" goals.

2. This blog post from ACT:S entitled You Were Not Built to Save this World.

So I'm taking a deep breath. I am also beginning to read the Good and Beautiful God as part of my small group and his first challenge to us was to get more rest because of how intertwined our souls are with our bodies.  I want to be poured out and used up by a God worthy of all praise, so I want to be sure I'm filling myself with good things, not focusing on the productivity of those things or how quickly I can absorb all the things I could do. I need to give room to focus on which of those "good things" God would have me do. Good night.

My Vision Board

A picture is worth a thousand words. This is my vision board from Dec. 2011. It was created at a workshop I attended. As a disclaimer, I do not endorse the Secret, and didn't approach this Vision Board as my message to the universe. Instead, after 2 days of activities designed to be introspective and consider all the ways I am uniquely gifted, I developed this as a visual representation of my goals, personality, and the ways I pray to used for God's glory. It reminds me of my values and how I might contribute positively. I could say a lot more about it, but for now just enjoy and comment or ask me about it sometime. It was really fun, therapeutic, eye-opening, and meaningful.
I pray that 2012 be a year you too can reflect on why you're here and what you're doing with your gifts.

Nativity

The weekend after Thanksgiving my good friends Marissa and Daniel Joyce had their son, Colton. I got the sweet opportunity to meet Colton when he was only 21 hours old. The beautiful picture of a doting dad and new family unit was awe inspiring. Then the following week, I saw The Nativity Story and was reminded so beautifully of the history of my faith. This Advent season is a time of remembrance and expectant hope for Christians. The month of December is "pregnant" with anticipation and we are hearing songs with lyrics like "let every heart prepare him room." That movie reminded me how very precious my faith is to me. And that I still didn't own a nativity as part of my Christmas decorations. I took care of that though. :)
Throughout the ages many have artistically shared what the miracle of Jesus' birth means to them and I recently was re-introduced to this Christmas poem from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow written in 1867

I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

I thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along the unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And in despair I bowed my head:
"There is no peace on earth," I said,
"For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men."

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men."

Till, ringing singing, on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
Of peace on earth, good will to men!

Take a second and read this again: the wrong shall fail, the right prevail. What hope is there in Christmas!

Thanks and giving part 2

I have several friends who've posted each day in November a status update on Facebook that says something they are thankful for. I appreciate those friends who remind me how important gratefulness is in our daily lives. I know I overlook it often and tend to settle my thoughts on things I want to be different.
TI says at the beginning of Live Your Life -

You gotta be grateful for what you got / 

Stop lookin at what you aint got  / 

and start being thankful for what you do got /

So here are my 30 things to be thankful for in November*
*(although I do want to try to increase my own awareness of the blessings in my life more often than this one month of the year)

I am thankful for:

1. The use of my body in ways it was created - hands for helping others, mouth for speaking love and eyes for seeing others as unique individuals (Thanks Margot Starbuck for that reminder in Unsqueezed)
2. My new appreciation for beer so that occasionally I can buy it instead of the more expensive wine option.
3. Friends like Matt and Tara Brown who love me well, host great get togethers and are preparing to go to Burkina Faso to identify further ways to love people well. I'm so excited for them to go. 
4. Friends like Ryan and Erin Bennett who are faithfully preparing to serve God in France through church building. They are also just great people and I wish I saw them more often. 
5. The Kiva Loan program that provides micro-loans to people with business ideas in impoverished nations like Kenya.
6. Lazy Saturday mornings that allow for reflection, delicious food and quiet moments to simply 'be' (with a cup of hot coffee in hand)
7. Twin City Diner that I affectionately call "Cheers" because I want to have a "local hangout." Their food is always good.
8. The 2 pair of house slippers I got from my mom and sister when I moved into a house with hardwood floors. They make my house cozier :) 
9. My friend Lisa Tandan and her husband for wanting to get different furniture. I am satisfied with my couch and chair, all thanks to them! 
10. The beach, which I'll soon see again with my own eyes - yay for Thanksgiving with family
11. My family that lives on the beach - you chose well and I am grateful
12. Seeing Susannah at Elon. Such a blessing to see my former high schooler loving college life. 
13. Our farm share co-op that has made me healthier and more creative. I've also been forced to slow down and cook so as not to let anything go to waste. 
14. The Peace Sign magnet on my car. I got it to support the Hunger Site, but it also helps me quickly spot my car in parking lots.
15. My notebook I'm keeping lists like this in. 
16. A good pen 
17. The NCCDA conference I recently attended. It's always confirming that I'm in the right profession for me.
18. My roommate's family mountain house, Ben Haven. It's really a great place to get away.
19. CNN's breaking news Twitter feed, otherwise I might not know what's going on.
20. Children's books like Max Lucado's Wemmicks series. 
21. Freshly shaven legs.
22. Days like yesterday where it occurs to me that I love NC. The weather was positively splendid.
23. Visiting college campuses. This weekend I actually saw Elon, NC State and Meredith within 48 hours.
24. My lavender and chamomile neck warmer. It's wonderful after a long day. 
25. Salem Lake where I do my long runs. My soul finds peace there. 
26. First Pres and how every night in December they commit to volunteering at Samaritan Inn
27. Tent camping and how I got to do it twice this year :) 
28. Pumpkin muffins of only 2 ingredients - spice cake mix and a can of pumpkin
29. Walking across a college campus between classes. I love observing the life happening around me and feeling part of something much bigger than myself.
30. My advisory board of undergraduate students, Bryan Career Leaders. I'm enjoying having their insight and ideas to help all the business students. 

Hey that wasn't so hard! I could keep going. That's something else to be thankful for!
Do you have a list too?

Values

I've been talking a lot about values recently.It's come up in a number of groups so I felt it was worth some reflection.

One of the most meaningful discussions I heard about values came from the creator of the Life Values Inventory, Dr. Kelly Crace. He spoke at a conference I attended last year (and was an amazing speaker) and suggested the following:

At the end of each day, rather than considering your day in terms of what you accomplished, how effective you were or how many things you completed (which is never enough and always leaves you feeling inadequate) consider instead asking yourself the questions -

Did I live out of my values today?
What's one thing I can learn from today that will help me tomorrow?
What do I know I can do? (Know what your strengths are, which I'll address in another post)
What is the most right devotion of my time and energy tomorrow?

The idea is that you would consider your values, line them up with your behaviors and use your energy (which is finite in any given day) to facilitate living out your values, not necessarily focused on outcomes. Think - life is a journey not a destination.


"You gotta know yourself, to grow yourself"

Have your cake and eat it too: http://roadtripnation.com/WarrenBrown 

Meaning in the making.

mean·ing [mee-ning] noun
1. what is intended to be, or actually is, expressed or indicated

2. the end, purpose, or significance of something

Sometimes I listen to pop music and make these moderately ridiculous connections to a Biblical principle or proverb and am derailed from simply enjoying the tune. Sometimes I even stop and share that connection with my roommate or other lucky person who gets hear my discourse on the human condition and our fundamental needs that get convoluted by our culture. So I thought, "why not make a blog to share that with even more people?"

In addition, I hope to bring your attention to others who are making positive meaning out of their lives; living good stories; living beyond their preconceived limits; loving well and living with intention. 

This came from months of a "sacred echo" (more on that later) simply called "story."

Perspective: 

Watch this video from Donald Miller and read To Be Told by Dan Allender.