What a difference a year makes

True to form, as one year ends and another begins I want to reflect. It happens this time every year because I also have a birthday in December and as I literally get a year older as the year ends, I can't help but want to stop and think about all that has happened. So here it goes...

Last year on New Year's Eve, I was in Atlanta with my good friend Sarah Brookings, who lives there. We decided to go to a nice dinner downtown to ring in the new year and then watched Lord of the Rings on New Years Day in our PJs. It was a quiet and sweet way to start a new year. Then I went to Passion 2013 and things got much louder.

It was there that I started a new journal. I have journaled throughout my years as a adolescent and into adulthood, but as I've gotten older I've lost the consistent habit. But since I was attending a conference full of teaching, I thought it might be good to bring something along. I love the idea of journaling so, I of course, had a blank one at home I could bring along.

I highly recommend journaling, especially when it's cute like this one.

The first thing I wrote in this new Bible was part of a prayer from Louie Giglio who kicked off the conference and it was the most profound thing that impacted me from the entire Passion 2013.

"Lord do immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine. Give me eyes to see the immeasurably more."

Immeasurably more is how I'll try to remember 2013. My 29th year of life. It was a great year. One full of new experiences, personal growth, challenges, inspiration, calling, affirmation, and depth. Those are such great words!

The first couple months were good growth while I completed a devotion called Fall for Him about singleness. I treasured the lessons learned and the prayers I prayed during those 25 challenges. I commend it to any of my single girlfriends as it was written by a woman who didn't marry until she was in her 30s so her stories resounded with truth and much empathy.

I also had several meaningful new experiences:

• I attended the Justice Conference and toured Philadelphia in February.
• I had a fun-filled girls weekend in Asheville in March. We spent the afternoon at a natural hot spring.
• I got to visit Ohio several times to see my nephew grow in his first year. 
• I went to a retreat center alone and sang out loud in the woods in June. 
• I attended a work conference in Boston in July and created an epic road trip through Colorado in July.
• I had another girls weekend in Asheville in October and went to Grove Park Inn for the first time.

The last part of 2013 and my 29th year was full of fruit and faithfulness.

• I met my boyfriend Daniel in August and have fallen in love. 
• I successfully ran a conference as President Elect of my state career counselor's association. 
• I was invited to be an elder in my church with a community I love serving. 
• I got a promotion in my job in December with a boss who seeks to develop me well. 

So now I'm able to implement so many of the heart lessons I've learned about "the me I want to be" (in the words of John Ortberg) in leadership, justice, relationships, and love. I used to always refer to the year I turned 23 as the best year of my life because I was working with Campus Crusade, traveling and feeling affirmed in what God called me to do, but I think 2013 has taken it's place as the best year...so far...

I can't wait to see what God has in store for 2014!

Freedom of singleness

Today I'm exercising my "rights" as a single person. I woke up around 9:30am to a quiet house, and then went back to sleep for another hour. I went for a run leisurely then browsed the free movies on netflix for about 10 minutes. I drank my coffee at noon and am still considering my next move. It's a Saturday without plans and since I'm single (no husband, kids or pets) - I can do whatever I want. It's quite a liberating feeling in this season of life.

While many might read the description of my day and think - she's got it made, I have other thoughts. I have to intentionally remind myself of the joys of singleness. The freedoms it provides and opportunities it gives for spontaneity and acting carefree are here right now, in this moment. I need to embrace them and enjoy them. Soak them in. Today was one of those days it was easy to embrace my life stage. I'm grateful for that.

It's funny how I long for a season of life where I am forced to concede and share my days with others, as a wife and mother. Those roles are desires of my heart and yet it's giving up a lot! I am in a great season - one that teenagers crave when they have curfews and rules. But now that I've been at it for 10 years I vacillate between perfecting it and longing for it to end.

 So while I lean into my current life stage as a single woman, I pray I would soak in the quiet moments alone, the spontaneous moments with friends, the flexibility of plans and the ability to say yes or no without having to check with someone. I pray those future roles of wife and mother are one day mine, but until then - I will try to heed the words of Paul to the Corinthians

I want you to be free from the concerns of this life - an unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities. His interests are divided. In the same way an unmarried woman can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and spirit...I am saying this to you for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best with as few distractions as possible. - 1 Cor. 7:32-35