Reconciliation with self

Recently, in two seemingly different contexts, I've been struck by the idea of reconciliation.

The first instance was in reading When Helping Hurts in preparation for a book club night at my church. I still haven't finished this book but even in the first part the authors conceptualize poverty in a way that is still transforming my views. They point out that as a result of the fall, we are in a state of poverty in 4 ways and are in need of reconciliation in all those ways.

Reconciliation is needed in our relationships with 

God, ourselves, others, and the rest of creation. 

Therefore, our approach to those who are materially poor should be more of an "us" approach rather than a "provider-receiver" relationship. Pretty profound shift in my thinking about how to help others. I have to have a stronger grasp on how I need reconciled in one of these four areas (or all of them!) as I work WITH the materially poor and realize they can help me just as much, in different ways. 

The second instance in which I explored reconciliation was this past weekend when I went to Well of Mercy for a 24 hour retreat. I learned of this retreat center a few years ago when some friends from my church went. It is a sweet place run by nuns in the order Sisters of Mercy and only about an hour away from Winston-Salem. 

This place is sacred space and I went as a personal challenge to engage with God in silence and prayer as part of my 30 before I'm 30 list. Once I got there I learned one of their main purposes is for people to have space to reconcile with themselves. It's actually listed in the guide that talking with others is discouraged and it is an atmosphere of "working silence" where people are actively listening to God and even to their own hearts. I can't say what happens for everyone who goes to the Well, but my time there was glorious and restorative. 

I turned down a gravel road according to my GPS that would take me to the well. I had to slow to only 20mph and still turned up dust in my wake. There were only 2 more turns and past some grazing horses before I saw the sign saying I'd arrived. I pulled in and walked to the only building on the premises. I was greeted by a sturdy and strong hug meant to truly welcome me. This woman was expecting me and and I almost cried at how wonderful that felt. I was given the tour and told where my room was - no key needed and just leave your check in the bowl at the front before you leave. Wow they are trusting. This actually helped set the tone for the entire retreat - one of trusting silence and acceptance. Two sweet docile dogs slowly look up our way as we walk past the hammocks and rocking chairs to see my room. Then it was time for lunch. So shortly after showing up I saw all the other guests at the Well for that day. Without needing to be told the norms, I stood in a circle expectantly with everyone else until 2 middle aged roundish women with short curly hair - one blond and one brown -  had us hold hands and led a prayer before we ate. The food was delicious and the conversation was minimal. Everything seemed to go slower there, but not in a frustrating way, more like in an intentional and respectful way. I excused myself when I was done and settled into my room. 

One of the many hammocks I spent quality time in

I was only going to be there 24 hours so I wanted to make the most of my time and set out on a trail behind the houses, along a creek. The prayer path takes about 45 minutes to walk straight through but I didn't get more than about 5 minutes before coming upon a hammock that I just had to sit in. It overlooked the water and was just a perfect setting to thank God for my time and the opportunity to be with Him in His creation. 

I went to the well out of a desire to stretch my spiritual life and not out of a specific need or crisis. This turned out not to matter, crisis or not, giving myself time to listen to God is transformative. I took my journal with me on my walk/hike and paused to reflect, confess and record what I felt like God was saying to me. It was such a special experience - just me and my God - that I don't want to write it all in a blog post. It seems too sacred and personal for that. I did want to reflect on it to say that I'm very glad I went and want to incorporate this into my self-care my whole life long. It's something worth saving a vacation day and money to do. 

Despite not going into detail in all the truths I was reminded of in my time at the Well, I do have some other anecdotal snippets to share from my time - 

1. The sheets smell just like at my grandma's house, which caught me by surprise and was such a sweet and tender association.
2. I got to go walking in nature, completely alone, with my morning coffee, and even got to talking out loud in the woods - with nobody around. I realized living in a city I don't have much opportunity to do that (and to still be safe and sane).
3. One of the dogs, Hunter, met me at one section of trail and led me through the woods for about 20 minutes before running off. It was surreal how he stayed with me and even guided me when I was at a fork in the path. I would have figured it out, but Hunter wanted to be my guide and nudged me the other direction. 
4. One of the sisters of Mercy who lives there reminded me of my great aunt and my Catholic roots, which was fun to incorporate into my adult faith journey. 
5. It is very quiet all around the Well (rightly so) and I thought I'd want my headphones to play a worship song at some point, but in fact - twice songs popped into my head and were a sweet prayer to Jesus. I even sang out loud in the woods. If you know me, you know I can't sing, so this was a comedic moment to share with God. 
6. They offer massages there but I opted not to use my time in that way. So when I got back to WS I decided to get a haircut, which for me is just as luxurious. Here's my new summer 'do :) 

So reconciliation with self got to be more important to me than I thought. I tend to give myself too much credit for being "self aware" and end up cutting God off from some of what he wants to say. Being at Well of Mercy gave me the space to hear from God and be restored in my soul. Hallelujah. 

7: Stuff

In a long overdue attempt to reflect on how the book, 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess, is changing my outlook on my faith, decisions and real life - check this out.


STUFF

"I have come to see that the great tragedy in the church is not that rich Christians do not care about the poor, but that rich Christians do not know the poor." ~Shane Claiborne 

For the chapter on our possessions, Jen Hatmaker gives away 7 things a day for 1 month to see what changes this causes in her perspectives and attitudes. Our small group decided to take on this challenge in a similar way. Rather than a specific number, we were struck by the way she gave stuff away. Jen sought out organizations that needed her stuff. She prayed over the items she gave away and she sought to get things into hands of those who actually needed it. Goodwill has its place in all this, but isn't the only solution. More on that in a second.

So I transformed my dining room into a center for give-aways. I put post it notes on my walls and brown grocery bags on the floors and started sorting - much of it was clothes after just examining how much I actually own. Other stuff was housewares mostly.

With the help of several friends who were spring cleaning we sent stuff to:

• Cook Elementary School, one of my churches partners, to inspire kids to think about college by giving them college Tshirts
• El Buen Pastor one of my churches partner organizations, does an annual yard sale so we donated some of our nicer fall clothing for the women as well as some housewares. 
• World Relief in High Point  - We gave housewares including linens, towels, pillows, blankets, artwork, shelves, shoe racks, toiletries, kitchen utensils, and a rice cooker to help furnish refugee families' houses when they get to America with nothing more than a suitcase. This awesome organization is actually holding a donation drive this month. If you're doing any spring cleaning - consider helping out!

Give on June 20th!!

• Hope Phones who are "an innovative way to fund the global efforts of Medic Mobile, parent organization that advances healthcare in 16 countries with mobile technology." - We sent 11+ phones to Hope Phones. *Perk - they let you print a packing slip and doesn't require a trip to the post office! 

our contribution to Hope Phones

• An urban high school - I gave some coats and clothes that match the SMOD to some high school girls through their school counselor. 
• Goodwill did get a lot of donated clothes, which is great, but I did wonder - does everything we take there actual get sold? And if I have clothing that isn't in that great of shape, what should I do with it then? Then I ran across this video and learned why we should send any textiles there, even if they can't be resold in their stores. You should take 4 minutes to watch this video.
• Dress for Success was on my list, but after volunteering to sort some of their current donated goods, I decided to send my business clothes elsewhere. They have tons of stuff at the moment, so I'm working on getting UNCG to officially partner with them as a referral agency instead :) I took those items to the Shalom Project, a clothing closet as part of the ministry from Green Street Methodist Church.
  
• My credentialing body for Nationally Certified Counselors sends counseling textbooks to countries without established counseling training programs to help them have understanding of theories, practices, treatment plans, etc. So between a few of my counseling friends and I we donated 21 books to be sent to places like Bhutan, Bulgaria, Cambodia, Cyprus, Greece, Jamaica, Kenya, Macedonia, Malawi, Nigeria, Philippines, Portugual, Romania, Tanzania, Turkey and Uganda. :)
• The Reynold Library took my old issues of Real Simple, Rachel Ray, Health and Women's Health to be sold and make money for the library. 

That whole process took about 6 weeks total. My dining room was kinda crazy during this time and I was spent by the end. It was both inspiring and disheartening at the same time. I was inspired by the many places I learned we could take things that we don't use anymore, both from a "reduce, reuse, recycle" standpoint (a future blog) and a "getting things into the hands that need them most" standpoint. But I was also disheartened that I had so much stuff I could part with and still have so much stuff. I've already reassessed the space in my drawers and have another bag to take to Goodwill.
This book is making me really look at my life and the ways I place values on things instead of relationships or "kingdom work." I do hope and pray that the places I sent those items will make a positive impact in God's economy. And I pray that I continue to let it sink into my marrow that things don't define me and that my "blessing" those less fortunate with my cast-offs doesn't make me any more righteous or good. Jen left us with these questions, which I know pose to you -

• What do we do with our riches? 
• What do we do with our privileges? 
• What should we keep? 
• What should we share?